hmmm.. its been a interesting week for me. for various reasons i underwent some mood swings.. some random flashes of thinking.. and one realization.

that still has me a little staggered.
and all this was triggered by some mood shifts, that went from crazy to completely inane.
quite weird.
but then, aren't we all ?

we'll start at the point when my mind went for a toss, as i tried to wrestle some of my emotions to manageable levels. i will note, that i didn't try to stop them from happening, merely from ruling my mind.
i was conscious of everything that was happening to me, i could feel sadness, bittersweet tastes in my mouth when remembering, passion, happiness.. you name it, and i felt it all hurtling through my consciousness.
i was feeling the emotions, and then suddenly realized.

i was conscious that i was feeling.

of what i was feeling. when i was feeling it. when one emotion was replaced with another. the switching of my mind from one track to another.
it was like i was not me. i was not inside myself. i was outside, a neutral observer, watching a patient, while knowing what was going on in his mind. it was all happening to another person, and i was watching.
watching meant that i couldn't do anything. i had to let the process run its course, to allow it to reach a final conclusion.
was i actually thinking independently of feelings ?

thought without emotion.
the ultimate intellectual exercise, when you divorce mind and heart, and purely, abstractly think.
its like performing an experiment on another personality, giving various stimuli and simply, purely observing the effects of each one. understand how your mind thinks given one set of ideas and circumstances. and how it might think under a different situation.

while i did not actually go to the extent of completely dichotomizing two such trains of thought, and analyzing different things at the same time, the sheer idea of it staggered me. and this is also something that has started happening when i simply allow my mind to drift through the many thoughts that keep occurring.

a note i make here, again, is that this may also be seen as me individuating between different thoughts that are crossing my mind at a given time. after all, all emotion can also be thought of as the effect of various thoughts that occur to us at a time. hence completely unrelated thoughts can awaken different effects in us, which may be unexpected.

there is a school of thought that says that all emotion is simply a contamination of the thought process. i am not trying to say that emotion is bad, or that when we think & analyze we should not be feeling anything about it.
it biases the way we think. it can shape the way that your mind will work. the results, the solutions you arrive at, are bound to be affected by the way that you feel about something. regardless of what excuses explanations we come up with, this is bound to happen.

and therefore, there is yet another school that says that we must always feel when we think. that without emotion, man becomes machine. and hence, emotion is an integral part of the process, and thus has to be considered when we are analyzing or solving something.

this is not a debate on which one is right. or even an analysis of which one i belong to. this is just a tertiary note that i am making.

crazy ? cool ? i really don't know.
i do know that some things will be explored.


9 thoughts on “abstraction

  1. HippyChix

    I think it’s very cool, that you have experienced the beginnings of ‘objective awareness of what is,’ and in that – there is great magic.

    I won’t debate what emotion should or shouldn’t be, because emotion is a very complicated issue, but I will simply say that I believe that we need all aspects of our existence equally.


  2. The Webwench

    Bah, once you meet someone, no matter the medium you meet by, be it internet, letter, in person, over the telephone, you are no longer strangers You are, officially, acquaintances.

    It’s only a half-step to friends

  3. I’m pleased you are becoming aware of what is. Just know Sev you are special to me,a friend and more. Is this complicated or not….such is life but it is Simply Good….now do not further complicate things for we will explore them together.

  4. Satish,

    I do not know if you have heard of Vipassana meditation.It deals with principles pretty similar such that while meditating you reach a stage wherein you are able to observe every single thought and the emotion it brings about in you.It’s as if you are a neutral observer trying to understand what emotions are evoked to certain kinds of thought; you do not actively think but a thought process is started passively.

    You might want to check out more on it; if so give me a holler

  5. Bubba

    Exploration of ones self is always a good thing. Acting on the information you discover is a little harder. But once accomplished one change of self it gets easier.

  6. Everytime I pop in her your posts strike as me delightfully thought provoking and enjoyable. Thank you for stopping by my blog again. You are always welcome.

  7. SEV

    @HippyChix: exploring the outer regions of consciousness is very scary; and yet.. very cool.

    @The Webwench: bah ? we-e-ll.. the connection remains, and we are more than acquaintances now; right ? nine-tenths of a step is made i think.. 😉

    @Vickie: iterating what you mean to me is not my style, but realizing what its all about together – i’m game !

    @Rohit: its sounds amazingly like what i am understanding now. mail me if necessary, but definitely interested!
    though a thought comes.. are some things better explored by the self ?

    @bubba1: exploring the causes of the actions allows greater realization still. i’m borrowing that from another, but change is something i still wonder about.

    @Sol: popping in and out, count me as a constant now..

  8. In all things, we must have balance. Emotion is what makes us human, approachable, lovable–but it also makes us irrational and can at times have negative consequences. Pure abstract thought, however, makes us cold, hardened, lonely, dead inside, if you will. We all experience swings between the two extremes, and as a result we feel unhappiness or conflict. I think that when one finds a perfect balance of the two, real happiness and peace of mind–serenity–ensues. The trick is to maintain that balance; to attain consciousness of our beings, mindfulness. I guess spirituality of whatever kind helps move that process along by forcing a bit of introspection and faith that life goes on.
    But you knew that already, didn’t you?

    It’s my first time here (yes, thankfully Michele sent me), but I’ll be back. I like how you encourage us to explore such thoughts!

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