fidus achates


hmmm.. one talks of truth, and friends, and honesty..

yet, somehow, all this is hinged on what we consider “friendship”.

while giving an OED explanation of it here would seem a good way to start, its convention.
and believe me, the last thing i want, is to be conventional.

as with all things, it is based on the way i've lived so far. in some weird way, i never managed to stay in one school for more than a few years. and so that characteristic school-cum-childhood friend, that so many seem to have is an alien concept on my planet.
i was also the kind of boy who lived in his imagination, and books. not the guy who ran out to play when home from school. not the one who got all mussy and dirty 5 minutes after leaving the bathtub. the quiet chap in the corner, who come out when pressed to. or if there is someone who really wanted him to.

until recently, this remained so. coming to think about it, the closest i have had to this kinda friend is a school friend; and even he is close without actually being close. we are buddies, will do anything for each other, but somehow not what i've seen “childhood” friends be.
or maybe i'm being unnecessarily harsh on that relation.
this does not mean i don't have friends.

au contraire the variety of people i have come to know over the years, and who remember/stay in touch with me is amazing. some are closer than they will admit to me as well.
note, i do not say i am close to them.
weird ?

i am “the friend of all the world”. or at least i feel that way sometimes.
then, in my final year of engineering, i found how close friendship can be. and now i know how much more close it can get.
possibly, a lot of this is the way that i have made myself.
i am the person who shuts up. i am the person who will always listen,and care for you as a real friend.
i also do not expect this from you in return.
i still say that i have very close friends.

not best. close.

as has been pointed out to me, there is a difference.
but for a person to whom anyone can be considered to be a friend, there is no meaning in 'best'.
it is a tag. classification. something that should not be done.

some of the closest friends i have appear alongside. i know that sounds cheesy and maybe a bit cloying, but it is true. a lot of you are closer than i realise.
even analyzing a random relationship shows me that i connect with different persons differently. all of us do.
how can one compare then ?

besides, assuming that 'best' is a superlative of 'close'; do you really make your best friend randomly ? overnight ?
isn't it more like you grow into each other in a way ?
your thoughts entwine, your souls connect. you can feel what the other does, you know what they think even by talking to them. it is the ultimate connection.

incidentally, it is also one that i have experienced with more than one person.
what does that mean ?
i don't know.

i know it means that for me any friend will always be someone special, someone close, someone important.
come to think of it, i even consider my parents friends, rather than parents.. it means i'm closer to them too. my mind is able to be more open with them.

and in the end, thats all we all want.

to be closer to one another.


3 thoughts on “fidus achates

  1. Sol

    The “best friend.” A phrase that in truth seemed to vanish from my language after I was married or otherwise… considered an adult. By then, each person was a friend and each for different reasons or values. Sometimes we may bond differently or for different reasons but all in all.. each in their own right are friends. Each one cherished

  2. I think another thing many people confuse is an acquaintance with a friendship. I have many acquaintances but few friends for to me a friend is someone you do connect with and you grow with and you have a special bond with this is someone you come to depend on count on know they are there for you. In the busy world we live in today I think a person is very rich to have friends for they are precious and unique and we need to cultivate what we have.

  3. Best. Close. Yes, there is a world of difference. At different phases of my childhood, I had a “best friend,” and the relationship with that person was unlike the others, but in retrospect, it seems only a matter of degree. I learned about orders of magnitude later from my wife.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s