found

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its amazing how you find someone when you need them.

there was a time when i used to feel that one finds the people one needs, only when one needs them. in essence, they can be thought to fill a void.
but there is the class of people who appear.. and enter one’s life. they may not provide any purpose or reason, but they show a way. the way that you might miss. the way that you need to realise.
the way that must be found by us.

and yet, in some ways, we are all drifting away from each other. i can see it happen with me. the lack of common grounds, the loss of a connection based on which i used to relate. i find it difficult to relate, much less talk, to many of the people i know. as close as they may have been, as much as “touch” as we might have maintained.. actual conversations get more and more difficult to carry on. there seem to be some stock questions that are asked.. and then the litany of ‘so what else is new ?’ starts. it doesn’t feel like we are conversing, more like we are keeping up appearances.. so that we feel ‘normal’.

there is something we are losing.. and we are doing nothing about it. and every time we rebuild our relationships, they become weaker. we start with good intentions.. and eventually life takes us over; and we give up.
till we realise what we have lost.

you can lose it, and find it. and there are times when you wonder how many chances a relationship can survive before it falls apart.

this means eventually we’ll lose the ability to make connections with other people. social hermits.
or maybe that’ll just be me.

i remember telling someone that i am an introvert.. that i’m turning asocial in the sense that i prefer the company of society less and less. the feeling of being lonely seems almost normal at times.

now that is a scary thought.

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4 thoughts on “found

  1. AA

    how right you are! i can’t disagree with anything you said, except for you becoming a social hermit. i’m not letting that happen, so don’t count on your introvert cynical self so much 🙂

    it’s weird how one week in another world can change/reshape your perspective on a lot of subject matters. i won’t list anything here, but i’ve become more pensive after my return. stop rubbing off on me you whore.

    only questions i have (some may not have answers): why does life take us over? and why is it so hard all of a sudden? is it just that we’re growing up and have no reason/need to find 20 others whom we can spend quality time with? or have we found them and therefore feel very comfortable about our situations?

    just as a side note to another point you made, most common/everyday relationships don’t have a limit to breaking and rebuilding. look at our dads who have friends whom they meet after ages and still connect really well… anyway, the point is, it’s not always so hard to break a connection even if there is distance, once it’s rebuilt. as we mature, we tend to realize this some more.

    that said, if we lost touch again i will kick you and your dog. and you know how much krupal hates that!

  2. Agree with ani and you. we do tend to get caught up in our lives (hectic or monotonous) so much that we generally lose connection with the ppl we most enjoyed ourselves. Like you said we tend to rebuild them every next time and create potential for some really good, lasting relationships. But we somehow manage to let it slip from our hands and the next time, bang! – Back to square one. But as ani says there are a bunch of ppl like our dads who somehow manage to maintain matters with their friends and close ones so well that each rendezvous they manage to pick up where they left off. Time and experience i guess. Maybe we could try that some time….?

    As we grow older, memories with dear ones are harder to forget. that’s when we realise how important they are and try to hold on with that little finger…. a leaf out of our dads’ books.

  3. SEV

    why does life take us over? and why is it so hard all of a sudden?
    simply put, we let it. part and parcel of accepting responsibility for it. eventually, we just don’t have the time to “stand and stare”. its not that its hard.. its just that its easier to pretend you don’t have the time to think, to feel, to connect.

    is it just that we’re growing up and have no reason/need to find 20 others whom we can spend quality time with? or have we found them and therefore feel very comfortable about our situations?
    we always have reason to find those with whom we can spend that “quality time”.. some can spend it with just a few, others have a need to find more and more. and some, like me, start questioning whether even a few are needed.
    comfort is a relative factor.. one can live with or without it.. eventually we learn to find it wherever we are.

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