why ? you really don’t want me to start.
i will anyway.
what does the average person do when given a gem of an idea for a movie script ? make it into a decent movie ?
but if you are kunal kohli, i’m sorry, thats not possible.
picture this. a man on the run sees a light in the distance. running, bleeding, he lands on the doorstep. the door opens. a beautiful woman silhouetted in the light looks at a torn and bleeding man. the man looks as though he’s seen a ghost. she shouts a name. the man falls.
*cut to title*
i will not bore you with further details. but rest assured this is not how ‘fanaa’ starts. it starts in the worst way possible. and one has to endure a too-old aamir romance an obviously-old kajol for an hour-and-a-half to some average tunes, average shayari, and finally; characters who either overplay their role, or don’t really play a role. plot holes, and character non-development are all hallmarks of this tedious time. end with obvious twist.
then second half. the real idea awaits. reveal. actually make the movie come to life. for all of 16 minutes and 22 seconds.
then destroy with songs, melodrama, more plot holes, and stupid lines. notable absence of shayari.
why mr. kohli ? why destroy a very classy idea ? why waste some decent characters ? why cause perforrmers like aamir and kajol to be so grossly misused ?
in sparse scenes, the director gives us some idea of potential; and possible glimpses of what his screenwriter drew up for him. the finale. aamir and kajol rekindling feelings in the kitchen. the run. the revealing of the “twist”. real effect.
but then he must insert a song every half-hour. the plot must meander when it shouldn’t. characters must act stupid. dialogue must be superfluous. you get the idea.
to be fair, kajol is awesome. aamir is unfortunately miscast in the first half, but more than makes up in the second. glimpses of some vistas, and an above-average background score.
movies with worse talent have been made better.
mr. kohli, however, fucks it all up. superbly. there is no way he could have fucked it up any more. or any better. touching scenes are reduced to groans. romantic scenes are reduced to groans. comedy is reduced to… you guessed it – groans.
during the interminable songs and melodrama, one can see the real idea. and that’s where fanaa really cuts you. you can see it is a 120 minute movie. quick, with cutscenes of the past, NO fucking songs (heard of background scores, mr. kohli ?), a red herring to add to the viewers excitement; and a slamdunk of a knockout punch for the finale.
what could have been. and what is. and its apparently a superhit.
and so kunal kohli will be given the chance to screw up some other idea, and fuck around with more performances.
and so, someone, please, please, please kill kunal kohli.
p.s. Warsha, I sympathise. You saw the movie twice. How ?