sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes ?

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The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking… The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. [Albert Einstein]

there lie enough questions unanswered, if one can but look to find them. there are enough answers out there, if one could but find the questions they answer.
and so.

idealized existence is impossible. a solution to all problems can never be found. even if it were, it would be inherently flawed insomuch to cause problems that cannot be seen. a matter of perception can mean so much. or so little.

to anyone reading this now, this may seem rambling cliches.. but these are actual perceptions that are even now whirling around in my consciousness.

even einstein realised that any kind of progress is fraught with inherent problems. even a watchmaker will always face the problem of what may be the actual time. or whether his watches do actually follow it.

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is kindle a light of meaning into a darkness of mere being [C.G.Jung]

whether we realise it or not, we each try to find some meaning, some higher purpose. and i have found that each of us can only find that purpose at a time, at a place. it is not possible to understand this “purpose” otherwise. and it makes no sense later. so there is some form of pre-determinism in life. things happen at a particular time only. by logic, if we can find this pattern, we can understand it all.

but we also know there is no pattern. there can be none. inherent chaos. pattern implies a start, and an end. circular patterns exist, but we eventually end up running in circles looking for a place to begin. never realising that the place to begin is where we decide it is to be. we choose the centre of our circular maze. and yet, things do tend to happen in a certain way. science is based on the understanding of these “ways”. maths is the language.

what if it is beyond our perception ?

Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right ? [Genesis, chapter 18, verse 25]

am i to understand that even if i can decide what i do now, what i type next.. i cannot decide what can happen due to that ? or even suppose to understand why it happens ? i am to leave it in the hands of a detached being, and expect him to understand. i am to call him fate, god, circumstance, luck – depending on what i feel.

logic, apparently, is not part of life.

the anonymous ‘he’ knows all. the omniscient ‘he’ is impartial. the humanitarian ‘he’ has compassion for us all. he does not play dice with the universe.
or does he ?

and who decides whether he does or doesn’t ? or the partiality ? the circular logic can never end, apparently.

Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you [Friedrick Wilhelm Nietzsche]

and so, even if i try, the darkness.. the unknown.. the pitch black surrounding a blind man, can only grow. the light cannot be seen even if i want to see it, because i look into an abyss. one that only deepens with every effort to penetrate it.

and i still try. unrest and enquiry do not let one sit still.

and yet, i know it is possible there is no answer. there may never have been a question to begin with. knowing one, may preclude the other. even when both are completely unknown, we try to rationalize. rationality – our sense of logic – should not have meaning in life.

i look without, when maybe i should look within. or maybe i should not look. or maybe it is outside my sphere of reference. the possibilites extend. and even at the end of it all, it may not be something that another can be brought to understand. it may be that the answers for each one of us is different.

and what when i understand, if i ever do ? what when the questions do not come back to me, and the mind is not excited by sudden thoughts – because the conclusions are known ? would it really help ?at the very end of it all, it may only be the understanding that life is far more miraculous that anyone of us can imagine. or that the tiny spark that causes us to think, is something that none of us ever miss until we lose it. it may be that we will always forget the small things – and forever try to answer a question that we may never even know.

It would be a stronger world, a stronger loving world, to die in. [John Cale]

All above quotes and thoughts courtesy ‘Watchmen‘.
And the title translates to ‘but who will watch the watchmen ?’

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