saying goodbye

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i’ve always hated saying goodbye.

most importantly, i’ve really hated saying goodbye at the airport.

funny.

there have been times when i have gone to the train station 4 days in a row to bid adieu. there were times when, regardless of everyone else, i would be there for that final wave.
but, never, never the airport.

it seems too… final.

trains are always so much more specific. departure, or arrival, happen right there, right then; most of the time. you watch them pull away waving, having ensured that they have everything that they could need for a journey. a bit of final satisfaction. airports seem to leave the statement incomplete, so to speak.

i stood at the visitors barrier today at terminal 2C. the final moments i would get to spend with people who cared enough to stay up at 4 am. just to say goodbye. the jokes, the banter, the advice. and then.. all at once it was time to leave. the final shake, the final hold, the final hug. my second goodbye in a month. to people who mean the world to me. i had to turn and walk away. pursuing my dream, i thought.. at the cost of reality that i loved.

i stood in the immigration queue when it hit me. i was leaving again. in the last 2 years i have said more farewells than ever before.. but i’m still not used to the feeling. do i really want to be ?
and this was one of those times when you don’t know when you’re going to see everyone again. a year ? two ? more ? how many people end up leaving and forgetting to come back every now and then ? would i be one of them ?
so many people completely disappear from the hemispheres of people they think they will spend the rest of their lives with. and meet once in 5 years. which has to be the worst result of them all.

for a moment then, time seemed to stand still. the last one month, the sudden arrival, the dreaded (in a way) departure… and the sheer number of moments you always treasure – it all came rushing back. life suddenly seemed based in the short intervals of india that i have had in the last few years… rather than life itself.

yet another goodbye means yet another welcome. and thats whats going to keep me going. for now.

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5 thoughts on “saying goodbye

  1. Vati

    Hiren says it rightly!! It is what is in our mind that matters – but mind is a monkey and we can change – influenced to “good” or “bad” by the society we live in. Swades & RDB show many of these ideas. Ultimately as one who had done all these in life while living abroad, I can say that there is nothing like returning and living in our own country and trying to improve through our own impacts. It is certainly much better than living in your own world outside and trying to keep criticising what we lack rather than what we have achieved. If we are NOT part of the SOLUTION, then we are the PROBLEM.

  2. A quotation I really like comes to the mind:
    ‘It’s good to have an end to journey towards, but it’s the journey that matters in the end’
    Does that make things simpler? 🙂
    -Ursula K LeGuin

  3. Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos – Snoopy
    Brother, really gonna miss ya…you have no idea…luv u…study well and take care. save up on money…i need to loot you when i come there in summer..hehe..

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