with or without you


See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait… for you

His feet hit the sidewalk. As he walked forward, the world around him seemed to disappear into a background.. a background that was too distant to see. His head was bowed, his pace was brisk. Hands were stuck in pockets, feet encased in sandals.. and he looked tired.
A rain drop hit his head.

And everything seemed to slow. As the drops started to fall, he slowed down. Slower, slower, until he was almost languidly strolling in the rain. The rain had heightened, and was now a brisk drizzle. His shirt and jeans were getting damp.. but he didn’t seem to feel them. His face was no longer bowed, it was looking into the distance; as though he would see something coming towards him.

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for… you

He stopped. Looking. There was almost no-one on the sidewalk around him, people were taking shelter. A few cars drove carefully down the street beside him. He noticed nothing. His face was wet, his spectacles dripping. And he continued to look. Involuntarily, his hands snaked up to his head and tried to set his drenched hair.

And all at once, he looked up. As the raindrops hit his upturned face, his arms came up in an embrace engulfing the rain. Drops settled on his face, and randomly formed paths down.. down his neck, dampening his collar.

His face seemed to crumple, and then regained its impassiveness. His arms dropped back to his sides though, and he stood there, his shoulders drooping. His head bowed. He looked down to his feet, and wiped his face with wet hands. A shake, a rueful smile. A parting of his hair again. He looked away again, almost hoping; daring to hope.. wanting, knowing… it was never to be.

All at once, his face was wet. He looked up again, tears mingled with rain and flowed away. He took off his specs, and rubbed his eyes.

“Don’t. You know that’s bad for you.” Her voice.


He turned.


A deep sigh.

I can’t live
With or without you
With or without you


7 thoughts on “with or without you

  1. Shubhra

    Deja vu… That is what I felt when I read the blog…
    There is a lot that is said… and a lot unsaid… need not be said…
    A little shiver down my spine… a little memory uncovered… a tear in my eye…

    Don’t ever stop writing

  2. That was good.. very good. I like when you write and I can feel what the person is feeling rather being told what he’s feeling. Hope you are well.

  3. damn… I now realise I too just posted a blog with the same song, and in the same format. At the time I thought it was very cool of me. Suddenly I realise that the idea must have subliminally lodged itself in the mind. I feel like a fool.

  4. Galadriel

    dunno why i’m commenting here now. but i just needed you to know that there’s a reason this is my favorite post. every time i read this, i hear the song playing in my mind. i feel your pain, i can almost see you reaching out and finding the nothingness, the emptiness. i’m sorry for everything that happened and i hope it can be put behind, making way for the future. ❤

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