on one of the rare productive days, where things are working, maybe inspite of my best efforts.. but nevertheless working.
its now 1:45 in the morning, i’ve spent most of my day in the lab today, and i can feel the mental exhaustion at long last. it feels good. the brain is being taxed, the way i like it 🙂 weird, possibly.. this post feels a tad unnatural at more than one level. its been a while.
i’ve been trying to get some of the many tasks assigned to me done for a while this week… but i end up having to give up in sheer frustration everyday. for once though, it seemed to come naturally to me.. maybe conditioning, maybe rest. i wouldn’t really know. its interesting though, that i find myself looking forward to such challenges. inherently challenging my mind seems to be the order of the day.
interestingly.. for all my talk of there being a method to my ‘madness’ – as i would justify to dad anyway – i find myself resorting to the basic tenets that have somehow rubbed off on me. the desk is now generally clear, the papers are always kept in a particular way on the side, i review and file away the ones that aren’t in constant use.. or need my attention. scratch paper is used, and treasured.. some of my quickest work is in referring to them. the ubiquitous coffee mug sits alongside the coffee machine in the corner. even the folders on the computer, the files… the organization i always have maintained – the mania for ensuring it is that way is more noticeable now.
unsurprisingly, i have a ‘to-do’ list on my pin up board.. just the way dad likes it. its mirrored on my lappy desktop too.. timetables hang alongside as well… as i write all this the scary thought comes to me that i seem to be following in the footsteps of the most organized person i know. dad.
somehow he seems to be coming up a lot in this post, but i can see the effect of hanging out with the guy for the last 22-odd years of my life coming to the fore. funnily, i’ve noticed a lot of such things since turning 24.
and.. i can also see that.. i have a long long way to go. thank god for that. i was worried i was growing up.