note: this can be construed as ‘spoilers’.
while transformers was probably the most fun movie i’ve watched in a long time – and i’m including the smart-yet-average 1408 – there were two points where it was all i could do not to roll off my chair laughing.
- the pentagon, nay, the entire american defense network is hacked by baddie alien robots.. and the only thing they have to show for it is a weird screeching sound. even as 100s of top NSA scientists work around the clock to figure out what happened…our side-heroes find the solution in the ancient computer of a local “hacker”, who manages to decode the signal into… ancient alien symbols. and of course, english.
- the baddies know who has the bounty they want, and they’re on their way in. our heroes need to hide. they choose the best possible location – the nearest city. coz gigantic robots would blend in well. and of course, other gigantic robots won’t be able to lay waste to an entire city.
it could be worse. your movie could be called ‘die hard 4‘, and not have anyone die. even have the pilot of an exploding helicopter jump 20 feet down to safety. SUV smash into villain ? no problem, she’ll survive it (she does). and of course, no-one says ‘fuck’. no, we don’t even have the 90s equivalent of “Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”… the great “yippee-ka-yay, motherf*cker”. how in the fuckin’ world all the reviewers on that page can think average CGI effects and the mockery of jon mcclane is a “good action movie”, i’ll never know.