moments to treasure, moments to forget

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saying it sucks when it doesn’t, saying it doesn’t suck when it does, a smile for no reason, nearly meeting and nearly missing each other, a face lighting up, a face literally reflecting the fall in your mood, sitting in the balcony and watching cars go by, watching people walk past and smile in recognition, everyone sitting around at 2 in the morning and laughing over nothing at all, sitting alone at 2:30 in the morning and wondering if you’ll ever have something to laugh about, sitting in silence with someone who decided to give you company all night long, sitting in companionship with the only person you want to spend the rest of the night with, coldplay singing ‘god put a smile upon your face’, u2 strumming ‘with or without you’, listen to ‘comfortably numb’ the first time and not understand it at all, listen to rahman after 2 days and feel your craving be satisfied, your college band playing ‘sayonee’ perfectly, your friends randomly jamming ‘sweet child o mine’ and getting it perfect, an attempt to sing ‘pal pal’ and barely making it past the first line, going out and singing off-key, off-kilter, off-beat and the crowd joining in, the first show you put up and it has the crowd on its feet, humming the same tune all day and having people join in, everyone sitting around and singing songs from back then, humming a tune to yourself alone and realizing it at the chorus – and then shutting up, chorusing a song with a crowd, watching the concert from the very back of the crowd with a select coterie of friends, getting into a mosh pit during your very first rock concert, getting frustrated with the people in the mosh pit during the second concert you arrange, not eating for 20 hours straight because you were running around getting your college into festival shape, not sleeping for 52 hours because you were getting your thesis into shape, sleeping for less than 4 hours in 72 getting your paper into shape, sleeping for less than 4 hours a day worrying if you’ll ever get to write a paper, watching the snow fall for the first time and running out to play, watching the snow fall continuously thinking of how much more fun it would be with someone, anyone, enjoying the sun for the first time in days after your first snowstorm, walking in the rain with the weather mirroring your mood, crying in the shower, laughing in the sun, being amazed the way spring makes everything seem better, being star struck by the beauty of the world after just one rainfall, watching ‘life is beautiful’ and going numb at the end of the movie, sitting in your room all alone, sitting in your house all alone feeling you are all alone in the world, feeling alone and having that one person come over just then, having that one person leave and feel alone – and not know why, write something randomly and have the world understand it all too well, write something not-so-randomly and not have anyone get it at all, look up in the sky in new york and wonder whether spider-man is to come swinging across the skyline at age 11, keep glancing at the sky at age 25 hoping spider-man will come, wonder how ‘calvin and hobbes’ could be so brilliant, discover comics that you read 10 years ago all over again, wonder whether you know someone at all, find some people know you better than you could ever imagine, miss every festival for 2 years straight and cherish the one you could celebrate, go home and spend your first night out drinking tea and watching the rain like old times, have a friend sit up with you at 2 am just to talk about old times, keep writing and find that there’s too much to write about, wonder whether what you’re writing will make sense to anyone at all…

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6 thoughts on “moments to treasure, moments to forget

  1. Warshhhh

    Thank God for this place…this blog you’re obsessed with…it seems to be the only thing i can use to bridge the gap between u and home (and me)…a place where I get to listen and you can jabber on and on endlessly in words that are so silent yet so trenchant and i can forgive you over and over for not doing the same on the phone and i get to dramatically show my pride and fondness for you and be annoyed and be happy and be touched and be amazed and finally see a part of you that i know but never get to see in person and understand what you’re saying and want to reciprocate it or not understand what you’re saying and want to question it and be worried about you and be relieved that you’re ok and want to have you recognised for you.r gift and get to sit back and read proof of it within your humungous circle of fellow bloggers and friends and want to say so many things to you and not know how and want to just whack you really hard and box you like a girl ….. its getting to read a regular logging of your thoughts and having access to almost everything that’s on your mind with your permission…. its almost like having you here talking to me (us) in person… almost…. nothing will ever beat getting to actually throw a pillow in your face or mauling you with a big deathly waist-bearhug when you least expect it…nothing…and for that, I get to flaunt of having had and always having that privilege my whole life.. but i really miss it these days…so all you ppl who get to have all the fun bullying my brother…or irritating the wits out of him in person… please do some of it on my behalf 😀

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