i’m still reeling..

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[via cracked.com]

asianerd3.jpgRetired porn star Asia Carrera, real name Jessica Steinhauser, is a bit of a legend in the porn industry. With 36-26-36 measurements, she performed in a jaw-dropping 400 hundred films in her career and exchanged an unthinkable amount of bodily fluids. She calls herself “the nerd of porn,” and we assumed it was some kind of in-joke, until we saw her credentials. Here is somebody who studied piano as a child and by the age of 14 was playing in Carnegie Hall.At 16, she went to Japan and taught English classes. She was a state spelling champ, in the National Mathematics League, a Spanish National Honor Society member, placing in National Geography, Language and Math Olympiads, and is a member of Mensa. That got her a free ride to Rutgers, where she double-majored in business and Japanese. This naturally inspired her to change her first name to Asia and become an entrepreneur in America’s fastest growing business. Her geek hallmark, however, is her love of LAN parties and Unreal Tournament (handle: megabitchgoddess).

and of course:

Dolph Lundgren was an almost-superstar back in the ’80s, having played comic hero The Punisher (1989 version) and even He-Man (1987). But, his greatest acting accomplishments is beating Apollo Creed into something resembling grape jelly and inspiring the greatest Rocky montage of all fucking time. The man reportedly has an IQ of 160. He graduated from the Royal Institute of Technology in Sweden, got his master’s in chemical engineering, then was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. After just two weeks of that, his superhuman intellect allowed him to calculate that a life spent inventing life-saving chemicals would mathematically contain less awesome than one movie spent playing He-Man. Hey, did we mention that he speaks five languages (French, Swedish, German, English and Italian)? Or, that he’s a Pentathlon Team Leader and a former Ranger? And a third-degree black belt?

jesus christ. but, i need to look up some ms. carrera now…

update: then i read this [rebutted here], and greatbong’s deconstruction of a now infamous sydney test, and i wonder…  will there really be any effect at the end of it all? or will a team that has been hounded its opponents into handing it the cup just be allowed to bully its way up the pyramid that is world cricket?
oh, and mr. symonds? tere maa ki..

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