date a girl who is a geek


Find her with a knowing smile when calzones, Junior Mints, and Yev Kassem make an appearance in conversation. Spend the night talking about how 221B Baker Street formed the doorway for you to discover the world outside Enid Blyton. Find the night has almost sped past and you’ve barely started talking about the common books you’ve read.

When you find a girl who is a geek, try not to let anyone else find her. Enthrall her with talk of  how Marvin epitomizes an attitude we should all strive for. Distract her with stories from the Silmarillion. Talk to her about Kurosawa, and where Sholay parallelizes Shichinin no Samurai. Discuss the finer points of Rahman and Ilaiyaraja. Discover from her a world of movies that you did not know of, but one she can quote from unerringly.

When the time is right, give her the lowdown on Spider-Man – why Part 2 is a pitch perfect rendition of Doc Ock, but try not to go into  the parts with the Clone Saga. Or tell her of the Batman mythos, while side-stepping the Bat-Mite. Try not to continue talking about the trivia of comicbookdom, instead, read a book together. Aloud. You will laugh together, a shared memory will be formed… one that far surpasses discovering a Marvel or DC multiverse. Remember, a girl who is a geek does not treasure clichéd traditions such as “dinner-and-movie” nights.

It is a challenge to date a girl who is a geek. You have to make every occasion uniquely special to her. She doesn’t want thoughtless flowers and chocolates, she wants thoughtful gifts which show you are a geek after her own heart, such as a Just William collection. She doesn’t want to look back in 20 years and wonder what attracted her to you, she wants to be with you because you are unafraid to draw on your true geeky nature to be with her.

Date such a girl because she will follow all your snide references, critique your slovenly habits, but most importantly, knock you flat on your back when she talks in abstruse literary dialogue that you still don’t know about. Be shamed by her ability to learn languages and find time for hobbies while you let yours rust in the shade. If you justify their rusting as spending time with her, remember there will come a time when you will no longer be a geek.. but she remains one. Because she knows that people mutate, regardless of the magic X chromosome needed by mutants.

Watch her marvel at the filmed versions of the Lord of The Rings. Disagree with her about whether Tom Bombadil was necessary for effective adaptation. Fight with her about the minor details that you’ve forgotten, but she remembers because she cared enough to read the books (maybe for the second time) just before watching the movies. Such fights are good, because you will never fight about other things. Such as whether you should watch the soulless adaptations of the Harry Potter movies.

When you fail, know that this girl will pick you up and berate you. Because she knows you could have done better by not obsessively catching up on The Big Bang Theory (which you can’t deny because she was right there with you, watching it). She understands you have flaws and weaknesses, much like Superman has kryptonite. But most of all, know that you are Superman for her.. even if you are obsessed with Spidey.

When she insists that you to watch the next comic book adaptation with her, do not blow her off to go with other friends. She will find someone else to go with, and you will rue the day you thought it would be more fun to catch the movie with the guys. Even if the movie turns out to be nothing like she expected it to, remember that you are there with her. Be there for her and be with her; she will wait there with you until that last end-credit rolls off the cinema screen.

A girl who is a geek will not ask you to explain an irrational hatred for Apple. She will not question your need to monopolize a computer or a console. She will not be bored by the great h264 debate. She is someone who actually understands what you say without the exhaustive explanation you have to give everyone else; know that she will understand your geek needs and wants before you do. She knows what part MJ plays in Peter’s life, she feels the goosebumps when MJ Fox adjusts his sunglasses before getting into the DeLorean.

She will introduce your children to the magical world that you see around you. She wants to be with you watching them discover how your inner geek can make it seem all the more magical.

But most importantly, don’t just date a girl who is a geek.

Marry her.

Thought process inspired by this and this. Thanks to Alice for pointing me to them.


21 thoughts on “date a girl who is a geek

  1. Rahul Radhakrishnan

    Splendid Satish! Very moving… Your geek is a lucky lady!

    At a literary level, I have to say the earlier paragraphs were simply first rate (I mean New Yorker first rate).

    Keep the good stuff coming 🙂

      • Rahul

        Indeed the rest was well above average too Satish! Just less than spectacular by the high standards before 🙂

        In my opinion, the superman-spidey bit was where it started plateauing a bit. I can’t explain quite how!

        Just to put it out there, one of the best examples that I have come across of, of personal writing that has that universal empathy is-

        It won the nytimes modern love essay contest a couple of years ago…

  2. galadriel

    Wow. Why have you stopped writing? This here is singular proof of why you should keep the blog alive and continue writing.

  3. JetPower

    Fantastic post … there was a great flow to it and some sparks or brilliant wordplay that appealed above and beyond the premise itself.

  4. Sharvari

    Oh I loved this one! Being a geek myself, felt appreciated somewhere 😉

    //Been following your blog for a while now! Superb writing!

  5. Paul

    I’ve read this again and again. It’s really touching and I relate, thanks for sharing this online. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s