kmhk part deux: now with extra color!

Standard

2 interesting things can be noted from this article:

  • kmhk is to finally have colors other than black, white and grey.. something i overlooked in my initial impression of the show. no more dark brooding shadows for our real true men.
  • putting aside ektaaaaaa’s reasons for not unveiling her stars so far as being ektaaaaa.. it is now ok to reveal that the only reason they have been in dark brooding shadows thus far was to ensure that only stars(?!) with the 6-pack get to the final cut. get the golden handshake. are allowed to “shake” with.. um.. fury.

i’m getting obsessed with this show.

kahaani hamaaray mahaabhaarat ki: 300 meets (sher)kar raj

Standard

the k’s and the a’s have it: ektaaaa kaaapooor has done it. she has reinvented the greatest epic of our time. to the greatest maahaaa epic of our time. the wikipedia admits it: the six-pack, the half body armor, the musculature have been inherited, nay, evolved from 300.

tonight we dine in hastinapura ?

our story begins in a galaxy far, far away.. where dice is played by men. we know they are real, true men as they all flaunt six-pack flabs, and stare moodily into space while dialogues are screamed. the skies scream, whether in protest we are not informed, but they scream. a real true man acting like a half-gay hyena (shenzi, banzai or ed?) – read shakuni – cackles in glee when he lands a 2 and a 1 with some ancient looking dice. a real true man broods moodily, rather.. continues to brood, while words are screamed at him. a hand comes into focus… and our new sherkar – read duryodhan – gestures in his direction.

one listens for the ‘govinda’ chant.. but then we get ahead of ourselves. Continue reading

learn english in 30 days !

Standard

as of 30 seconds ago, i have been convinced to get the ‘learn english at home in 30 days’ course from either TVS or star networks. i don’t know which, but watching the quandary of the little boy who knows no english as compared to his compatriot.. or even the stuttering sales talk of the UP-bhaiyya salesmen in an office; really makes one think. it may have been the stuttering apology of the waiter that slowly brings a smile to the face of his customer. who obviously lets him go with a big tip. then, of course, there is the most convincing “skit” of all. the geeky college kid that kept silent, and was called ‘bhaiyya’ by the girls, by his own admission. of course, the issue was that he could not speak ‘ingliss’. people thought he was a serious boy, who was studious… which he wasn’t – by his own admission, again. such is the hard life of college today.

all these people benefited by this unique cd and book combo (with an ayurvedic medicine bottle for free!), which uses proven scientific techniques of concentrating brain power to specific areas, and indeed.. uses no reading, writing, or anything else to teach you english. i’m guessing somewhere in all this there is a wire on a spike, a la the matrix, and stuff is piped right into the “concentrated” part of your brain.

of course, one cannot forget the advanced dictionary that you get as well.

and finally the in-chorus final endorsement by the people i spoke about earlier. “get de lurn ingliss en tirty das, todayyyy !”

i so need this.

down with the drama !

Standard

amongst the 3 billion things that i usually hate in the real world, i’m now being forcibly reminded of something that i’ve managed to avoid for a while. serials. on tv.

i refer not to the comedic sitcoms. most of those are watchable to some extent, even if the classics ‘friends’ and ‘seinfeld’ have long since left our rooms. what better use of reruns or DVDs ?

no. i refer to dramas.

and sadly, i was once victim to the craze of following a tv drama too. recently when i got my hands on the DVD collection, i realised the beauty of rose-tinted glasses when we’re younger. i’m barely able to watch half the episodes now, and that is money well gone. no matter. we all slip up.

but we cannot all slip up every single fucking day.

enter the indian tv serial. language no bar. they all feature the same non-actors who spout wooden dialogue that is literally ported from serial to serial when the same situation arises. and trust me, the same bloody situations arise in all of them. then, of course, we have the standard screeching they want to call music that is blared at every given oppurtunity. some in fact, are slightly imaginative. they feature full-fledged song-and-dance routines from the movies. mostly unhearable. if these don’t cause us to tear our hair out while trying to eat our ears off, we have the camerawork/direction. the cumulative effect is that any sane person would probably suffer brain haemorrage as their brain atrophies due to the assault on the senses.

no, wait. i haven’t talked about the camerawork. or direction. or random kid who plays with his camcorder. the same end-result anyway.
wooshing while moving camera across characters face: check. zoom in and out about 3 trillion times for no reason at all: check. random slow motion sequences: check. snapshot faces (devoid of expression ) of characters in the scene: check. cause viewer to not be able to look at the screen continuously: check.

finally, we have the storylines. the story/script writers should have been targets of infanticide. such colossal wastes of airspace should not exist. worst of all, they get paid for coming up with improbable stories involving non-aging generations of people, murder, intrigue, twisted family trees with definite overtones of incest… you get my drift.

we have(or recently had) protests in india about the censorship laws that have been passed. how all those hollywood movie channels/music channels are “corrupting” the pure naive minds of our children today. and so blackouts, and court cases abound.. as is to be expected. funny that no-one ever dreams of protesting this genre of purely indian shows. watching these shows on a regular basis will probably cause a generation of mindless drones to be developed.

alas ! there is no-one to cry “down with the drama !”